Mystery solved.
(do you see the Jesus?)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Garden Vision
Last night I went to see the Foo Fighters at Madison Square Garden. I have seen somewhere in the neighborhood of 7,500 bands take the stage in my life, and I think that less than 10 of them have been in arenas. The band was great, and the Garden itself is great, but I am horribly out of my element in crowds that size. I can't seem to lose myself in the concert experience in a venue that large. There are just too many distractions. I think that a lot of people need their experiences to be validated by others. I did enjoy the performance, and I have the utmost respect for Dave G and the band for putting on a flawless spectacle. All that said, here are some observations from my excursion.
1 - I would buy a ticket to the Dave Grohl comedy show. He's clever, entertaining and much funnier than a lot of so called comedians who, incidentally, don't write great songs. Dane Cook does NOT rock.
2 - Despite being called Madison SQUARE Garden, the building is actually round. I believe that this accounts for the superior sound that the arena has compared to other hockey rinks. Also, as I have found at countless hockey games, there is not a bad seat in all of MSG.
3 - As a general rule, the only thing that I want to hear less than a drum solo, is the song that drummer sings. I have a pretty strong suspicion though that Dave Grohl has a soft spot for singing drummers. I bet he's a huge Phil Collins fan. But really, who isn't?
4 - Any guy who treks up and down the very steep stairs of the upper levels selling $7.50 cups of BudLight, out of a tray he carry s on his head, will henceforth be known, universally, as a 'BEER SHERPA'.
5 - Some thoughts on humanity. - The 'mob mentality' still amazes and frightens me. People with the need to stand out while simultaneously fitting in are a frustrating bunch as well. While people are attempting to funnel out any door that other people are funneling out of after a rock show, a guy can be semi successful at getting a 'Let's go Giants' chant started, even thought the football season ended weeks ago.
6 - 2008 moments in Madison Square Garden history. - First, the Rangers retired the number of legendary defenseman Brian Leetch. Then, although countless legendary rock bands have graced the stage of 'the worlds most famous arena', the Foo Fighters made MSG history during the very first triangle solo ever to blast forth from the mega-watt PA system. This will surely inspire future generations of musicians to reach new levels of triangle virtuosity and change the face of modern music forever. Rock and Roll history has been re-written.
7 - $7 Lincoln Tunnel + $33 parking garage = $40 in transit to drive into the city for a 5 hour visit. Thats $8 an hour for the pleasure of aggressive driving and 'No Left Turn' signs.
8 - Note to the Foo's. -When you swap guitars to do the one song you have in dropped A tuning, instead of a 20 minute version of 'Stacked Actors', give us that song plus some Melvins covers. I am sure thats where you got the idea, and, Kurt would approve.
9 - Madison Square Garden's Fire Exits are total deathtraps. The well in Buffalo Bill's basement in Silence Of The Lambs was more hospitable.
10 - This may have NOTHING to do with the Foo Fighters or MSG, but I feel that it is still very informative and worth mentioning. - Inflation is up, gas prices are higher than ever, but PeepWorld is still 25 cents (or at least thats what the sign says).
See you in the future,
TZA
1 - I would buy a ticket to the Dave Grohl comedy show. He's clever, entertaining and much funnier than a lot of so called comedians who, incidentally, don't write great songs. Dane Cook does NOT rock.
2 - Despite being called Madison SQUARE Garden, the building is actually round. I believe that this accounts for the superior sound that the arena has compared to other hockey rinks. Also, as I have found at countless hockey games, there is not a bad seat in all of MSG.
3 - As a general rule, the only thing that I want to hear less than a drum solo, is the song that drummer sings. I have a pretty strong suspicion though that Dave Grohl has a soft spot for singing drummers. I bet he's a huge Phil Collins fan. But really, who isn't?
4 - Any guy who treks up and down the very steep stairs of the upper levels selling $7.50 cups of BudLight, out of a tray he carry s on his head, will henceforth be known, universally, as a 'BEER SHERPA'.
5 - Some thoughts on humanity. - The 'mob mentality' still amazes and frightens me. People with the need to stand out while simultaneously fitting in are a frustrating bunch as well. While people are attempting to funnel out any door that other people are funneling out of after a rock show, a guy can be semi successful at getting a 'Let's go Giants' chant started, even thought the football season ended weeks ago.
6 - 2008 moments in Madison Square Garden history. - First, the Rangers retired the number of legendary defenseman Brian Leetch. Then, although countless legendary rock bands have graced the stage of 'the worlds most famous arena', the Foo Fighters made MSG history during the very first triangle solo ever to blast forth from the mega-watt PA system. This will surely inspire future generations of musicians to reach new levels of triangle virtuosity and change the face of modern music forever. Rock and Roll history has been re-written.
7 - $7 Lincoln Tunnel + $33 parking garage = $40 in transit to drive into the city for a 5 hour visit. Thats $8 an hour for the pleasure of aggressive driving and 'No Left Turn' signs.
8 - Note to the Foo's. -When you swap guitars to do the one song you have in dropped A tuning, instead of a 20 minute version of 'Stacked Actors', give us that song plus some Melvins covers. I am sure thats where you got the idea, and, Kurt would approve.
9 - Madison Square Garden's Fire Exits are total deathtraps. The well in Buffalo Bill's basement in Silence Of The Lambs was more hospitable.
10 - This may have NOTHING to do with the Foo Fighters or MSG, but I feel that it is still very informative and worth mentioning. - Inflation is up, gas prices are higher than ever, but PeepWorld is still 25 cents (or at least thats what the sign says).
See you in the future,
TZA
Friday, February 15, 2008
Traction : Future Lounge #3 - 02/08
The third installment of my ongoing 'Traction:Future Lounge' series.
Another ~40 minutes of pure pleasure.
This episode might be a little too 'raw' for some workplaces.
So, if you are employed by some uptight square types, use discretion.
You have been warned, now let's get to it!
(right click image and hit 'save link as' to download the mp3)
The previous installments can be found:
HERE. (#2 - 11/07)
and
HERE. (#1 - 07/07)
And, once agian, this episode includes a track-list,
for those who wanna be 'in the know'.
Another ~40 minutes of pure pleasure.
This episode might be a little too 'raw' for some workplaces.
So, if you are employed by some uptight square types, use discretion.
You have been warned, now let's get to it!
(right click image and hit 'save link as' to download the mp3)
The previous installments can be found:
HERE. (#2 - 11/07)
and
HERE. (#1 - 07/07)
And, once agian, this episode includes a track-list,
for those who wanna be 'in the know'.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Whizzing through the stars
I just found out that during the first manned space flight,
Alan Shepard PISSED in his space suit.
Can you blame the man?
I don't even like going up in glass elevators.
Remember the other famous astronaut that peed her pants?
At least she was prepared.
And we all thought SHE was crazy!
Well at least it looks like filthy pop-princess Fergie has some good company.
Check this out:
Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie has confessed to urinating on stage during a recent concert. The sexy singer said she had to douse herself with champagne in front of hundreds of Australian fans to disguise the fact. She is quoted by Scotland's Daily Record newspaper as saying: "I had a few drinks before going onstage, but I didn't think to go to the bathroom. "We were jumping around and my bladder just started... you know."
Link to source
I knew she was older than some of the other stars of her genre, but i didnt think she would be incontinent.
Kids-R-Us
I believe that Tracy Morgan is the Kool Keith of comedy. Thats right.
Would anyone besides me like to see them collaborate on some projects in the future? Maybe their characters can do some duets.
-Morgan's animal expert Brian Fellow character could team up on a track with Keith's Mr. Gerbik (the dangerous 208 year old uncle of Dr. Octagon who is half shark-alligator, half man).
-Tracy's Dominican Lou could lay down some Caribbean flavor on a dancehall joint with Kool's Rico from Puerto Rico or, Crazy Lou the guns and ammo salesman.
-T Money's singing homeless Woodrow character is a perfect match for the Kool ones Naquan a.k.a. Underwear Pissy alias. Just watch where you step around them.
-Mr. Morgan's Astronaut Jones persona could get into some galactic adventures with a number of Double K's alternate identity's from MC Robocop to X-74, or even Exotron Geiger Counter Plus One Megotron.
The possibilities are earth shattering if either one of them could keep it together long enough to roll tape.
January 29, 2008 -- "30 ROCK" funnyman Tracy Morgan had busboys at The Plumm searching high and low for a credit card he thought he'd lost. A spy at the West 14th Street spot last week told us, "Tracy came with a group of friends and ordered two bottles of Veuve Clicquot." In no time, Morgan "ripped off his shirt and was dancing on a banquette," said the onlooker. "He thought he'd lost his credit card, and staffers were searching for it." Morgan "finally admitted to his waitress that he'd found it in his pocket - right before asking her if he could father her baby."
Would anyone besides me like to see them collaborate on some projects in the future? Maybe their characters can do some duets.
-Morgan's animal expert Brian Fellow character could team up on a track with Keith's Mr. Gerbik (the dangerous 208 year old uncle of Dr. Octagon who is half shark-alligator, half man).
-Tracy's Dominican Lou could lay down some Caribbean flavor on a dancehall joint with Kool's Rico from Puerto Rico or, Crazy Lou the guns and ammo salesman.
-T Money's singing homeless Woodrow character is a perfect match for the Kool ones Naquan a.k.a. Underwear Pissy alias. Just watch where you step around them.
-Mr. Morgan's Astronaut Jones persona could get into some galactic adventures with a number of Double K's alternate identity's from MC Robocop to X-74, or even Exotron Geiger Counter Plus One Megotron.
The possibilities are earth shattering if either one of them could keep it together long enough to roll tape.
January 29, 2008 -- "30 ROCK" funnyman Tracy Morgan had busboys at The Plumm searching high and low for a credit card he thought he'd lost. A spy at the West 14th Street spot last week told us, "Tracy came with a group of friends and ordered two bottles of Veuve Clicquot." In no time, Morgan "ripped off his shirt and was dancing on a banquette," said the onlooker. "He thought he'd lost his credit card, and staffers were searching for it." Morgan "finally admitted to his waitress that he'd found it in his pocket - right before asking her if he could father her baby."
Centrum Silver Screen
Since Sylvester Stallone has turned 60 he has reprised some of his most memorable roles in new installments of classic films. Firstly, a new Rocky film. The aging pugilist still had that box office magic. He followed this up with an all new Rambo. This leads me to the question, will we be seeing a new new 'Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot' anytime soon? Well, it better be soon, because while Estelle Getty is still very much alive, i think the Golden Girl might be getting golden-brown on us. How about a new 'Tango & Cash'? Kurt Russel is still working, and still kinda creepy. My ultimate choice would be for a new 'Over The Top'. There is no disputing that 'Over The Top' is the best 'arm wrestling truck driver fighting for the custody of his bastard son' film ever made. Admittedly the genre has not been fully exploited, but maybe 'Over The Top 2' could jump start a barrage of films where turning your hat around backwards gives you ultimate power.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
3 TRUE LAWS OF ROBOTICS
Isaac Asimov first penned the "Three Laws of Robotics" in 1942.
For those unfamiliar with the universally accepted trio of absolutes, they are as follows:
--Law # 1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
--Law # 2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
--Law # 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Since that time no one has come up with a more elegant manner of expressing the nature of the relationship between mechanical beings and their human creators.
- Until now.
The Three Laws Of Robotics have been refined for the new age by modern day realist Warren Ellis. His new set of 'rules' incorporates certain aspects of human/automaton relations that Mr. Asimov failed to envision. Please update your manuals with the following information:
Law # 1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
Law # 2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
Law # 3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.
And always remember:
Number Johnny Five LOVES You!
'NO DISASSEMBLE!!'
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