Kids-R-Us

I believe that Tracy Morgan is the Kool Keith of comedy. Thats right.

Would anyone besides me like to see them collaborate on some projects in the future? Maybe their characters can do some duets.

-Morgan's animal expert Brian Fellow character could team up on a track with Keith's Mr. Gerbik (the dangerous 208 year old uncle of Dr. Octagon who is half shark-alligator, half man).

-Tracy's Dominican Lou could lay down some Caribbean flavor on a dancehall joint with Kool's Rico from Puerto Rico or, Crazy Lou the guns and ammo salesman.

-T Money's singing homeless Woodrow character is a perfect match for the Kool ones Naquan a.k.a. Underwear Pissy alias. Just watch where you step around them.

-Mr. Morgan's Astronaut Jones persona could get into some galactic adventures with a number of Double K's alternate identity's from MC Robocop to X-74, or even Exotron Geiger Counter Plus One Megotron.

The possibilities are earth shattering if either one of them could keep it together long enough to roll tape.



January 29, 2008 -- "30 ROCK" funnyman Tracy Morgan had busboys at The Plumm searching high and low for a credit card he thought he'd lost. A spy at the West 14th Street spot last week told us, "Tracy came with a group of friends and ordered two bottles of Veuve Clicquot." In no time, Morgan "ripped off his shirt and was dancing on a banquette," said the onlooker. "He thought he'd lost his credit card, and staffers were searching for it." Morgan "finally admitted to his waitress that he'd found it in his pocket - right before asking her if he could father her baby."

Centrum Silver Screen

Since Sylvester Stallone has turned 60 he has reprised some of his most memorable roles in new installments of classic films. Firstly, a new Rocky film. The aging pugilist still had that box office magic. He followed this up with an all new Rambo. This leads me to the question, will we be seeing a new new 'Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot' anytime soon? Well, it better be soon, because while Estelle Getty is still very much alive, i think the Golden Girl might be getting golden-brown on us. How about a new 'Tango & Cash'? Kurt Russel is still working, and still kinda creepy. My ultimate choice would be for a new 'Over The Top'. There is no disputing that 'Over The Top' is the best 'arm wrestling truck driver fighting for the custody of his bastard son' film ever made. Admittedly the genre has not been fully exploited, but maybe 'Over The Top 2' could jump start a barrage of films where turning your hat around backwards gives you ultimate power.

3 TRUE LAWS OF ROBOTICS

Isaac Asimov first penned the "Three Laws of Robotics" in 1942.

For those unfamiliar with the universally accepted trio of absolutes, they are as follows:

--Law # 1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
--Law # 2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
--Law # 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Since that time no one has come up with a more elegant manner of expressing the nature of the relationship between mechanical beings and their human creators.

- Until now.

The Three Laws Of Robotics have been refined for the new age by modern day realist Warren Ellis. His new set of 'rules' incorporates certain aspects of human/automaton relations that Mr. Asimov failed to envision. Please update your manuals with the following information:

Law # 1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.

Law # 2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.

Law # 3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.

And always remember:
Number Johnny Five LOVES You!


'NO DISASSEMBLE!!'

Remix

If anyone is interested, I have 2 entries in the WFMU Rudy Remix Contest.

Click HERE for the blog page.

and, of course, I go by the TZA. MasterG and RudyXXX are minez.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease,

TZA.

Baldheads, Bears and Bibles

The Bible gets pretty fierce at some points.
What would Jesus do?

Traction:Future Lounge - 11/07

Another installment of my 'Traction:Future Lounge' series.
The hippest 44 minutes of your day.



(right click image and hit 'save link as' to download the mp3)

the previous installment can be found HERE.

this episode includes a track-list for those who wanna be 'in the know'.



enjoy.

Loomer

Today is an overcast, foggy, grey-sky day here in north jersey.

My ipod had the good sense to shuffle in some My Bloody Valentine to enhance the mood. We all know that Loveless is a brilliant and classic recording on its own, but today it shed some light on other music in my mind.

Noise dosen't have to be ugly, harsh and brutal,
it can also be beautiful, dreamlike and surreal.

So much 'noise' music is made to be an abrasive, abusive assault on its listener. I am aware of VERY little noisy music that intends to soothe or seranade.

White noise? Pink noise? Blue noise?
Let's just try to avoid the dreaded 'brown note' at all costs.
Thank You.